Lately i have been thinking about writing post with this theme, but i always have excuse for it, but now i must say that apparently it’s time………………………..usually i’m not kind of the person who is sticking out too much, i get myself hurt very rarely (thank god), i don’t forget stuff or just lose them anywhere ( lets keep it that way) and my interaction with people is kinda…interesting..…mostly reserved..i guess only the closest people would know better about me or my personality…but ..oh boy……when i do have my own perks, those should be filmed with a camera and i think that would probably be the simplest way to get some color in my ultra pale cheeks.
So let’s start with the newest one.yayyyyyyyyy…………not. Since i now have a blog which is separated on 2 parts , one part goes to the cosmetics world and the other one is for you, so you can just laugh at me and feel better afterwards, and the blog is barely a month old so i’m still looking for sponsors and fighting my way in that world of make up survival . I must say it’s not easy but so far i’m actually quite pleased, so either i get testers for products or i actually win something due to my creativity, ect. so the latest one i won in some creative contest and the prize is a whole package of make up products for which i have to make reviews..i’m so excited about it, and my moderator is also ( read as *victim on sight* ) so i have been updating her with new infos when we will start to work on those, plus i was waiting for a few tester products and one reward also for my creativity, which will be great help in a blog and possible giveaway also……..so what exactly did i do? Bury myself so deep i wished the moment i did that, that earth would open and swallowed me and my laptop. As i have been in contact with the sponsors where i won the reward and now have to write the review i accidentally send them report because i thought i was talking to my friend /moderator. Yeah……….and not just that, i managed to in a few sentences bury myself quite good – just the way i can I sent the note that i got now 2 products at home for which i have been battling for a month and half, since the people who actually were responsible for it simply *lost* or *ate * my reward. Also got a tester for the other one, i was quite disappointed , it’s more like a whole product should have arrived, not the tiny tester.
..so basically my note was something a lot of unprofessional laughing like you are talking to a person you know for a one third of your life, including internet text emoticons , using *facepalm* to hide yourself in embarassment, made my suptle comment about it and even actually mentioned the news about those people i accidentally send the report …………i think this deserves few moments of you feeling sorry for me …and then laughing ………………..i think i can now use *facepalm* with the most confidence. Not the mention that my friend almost fell from chair laughing . I felt like a total immature idiot who doesn’t even know how to use internet ( i totally blame damn Facebook for it – it keeps changing my messages in inbox in some weird order and my friend is usually first at *speed dial* ) and really unprofessional and simply …like a idiot.
So, what would a normal person say in that kind of a situation? Probably just apologized and disappeared for a while…but me? nooooo…..i have to dig my hole a little bit deeper..
so this is what i actually sent after i picked out my jaw from the floor from shock.
*upsssssssssssssssssss…i’m so sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i sent it to wrong person!
i needed my moderator!!!!……..i’m so sorry…………..*so embarrassing*
i think i’ll just bury myself somewhere and keep away from the internet for a while ……………..
So, yes…….good job…………great apology…….and more spamming for people who now probably think you are very weird person and they are still forced to communicate with you…yes, i deserve a huge applause for that one.
2. WRONG GENES
Since this week kinda was inspiring, yesterday i was also successful in getting myself look like a complete idiot…..i was talking to some people who were kind enough to bother to check where the heck my reward disappeared and they were still having problems actually finding out…so they sent me a little gift as a apology …this came before the reward so i thought the website, who just after a moth and a half, couldn’t either be reached or deliver my reward, finally sent something and it was wrong…so i , the greatest idiot of them all …wrote to a sponsors and in a kind of disappointed effect told them that i don’t even use that product which they have sent as a gift from their heart ……..disaster………i wish i could have slap myself. What i wanted to say that i currently don’t use it because once i had a bad experince with a different brand, instead i just sounded like some total ungrateful moron……yes……i can say that……i’m so sorry for being such idiot who types faster then actually thinks. I think Facebook should instal special button that would ask you at least 3 times *Are you 100 percent sure you want to send this? * Needless to say that i felt terrible and i promised i will buy 2 more of their products to redeem myself…and i will, i’m very intrigued by those products …….but…….i do have a special talent for burying myself . And today i got my reward, they sent it separate so i felt even worse……………… I’m so sorry..i think there must be something wrong with my genetic material .
Traveling back to past, i think it was 2 days ago, i successfuly got in a sort of the conflict with few bloggers. So the problem was that i published 2 of my posts there and they should have repost them – that’s basically what they do, since they are trying to get all bloggers to one place, it’s easier for bloggers and blog followers. Since it happened twice already i wanted to find out what exactly went wrong so i have sent a simple message, i mean there is no point for me publishing my posts there if they for some reason won’t be reposted. I must clarify i did not sent the message with the wrath of the dragons in it either that i thought *omg..my world is ending, they are ignoring me, they hate me, ect*……come on, seriously? I think every normal person would want to clarify what happened, if they forgot or maybe more likely want to check out if my blog is actually legitimate with themes to be allowed to be posted there. Anyway, somehow this turned out in a very bad situation where i got basically told off a few things, got too many messages to even track down and basically got a wrath of the dragons backfired at me because someone was obviously having a bad day, and certainly my favorite part was – *It was totally your fault*……….now, for crying out loud, how is my fault if you completely repost every single thing except my post and second one disappears? Yes, i checked the damn post, it was there when i published it, it was there even after i refreshed it, and it was there after 30 min because i was checking in excitement if my post was reposted on that page..and it was there even for my friend could see it….So where did it go? What was quite unappealing that i got slapped back by someone who should be in those blog waters for years and i guess you could have little bit more patience, professional opinion or simply solve it on a different way…instead of huge reward winning drama, they could have just say – we didn’t see, or it got deleted by accident, or even we just had to check your blog first since you are new…i would accept everything without blinking..i know i’m new and basically a nobody…But how did i turn out? Yes, we will send lots of pressure messages on you and make you feel so guilty and embarrassed that you regret ever getting yourself involved into this and make sure to remind you that you are nobody compared to them…… so i nicely pulled out my idiotic ass out of that site…..which in a ironic way, we will probably cross paths in real life. So what would be your verdict on this?
4. THE POSTMAN
As i have been recently getting more mail then usual, if it manages to get here or simply *disappears*…(funny how bills never disappear)………sometimes we get a different postman then ours. So this was actually a few days ago and that day i was suppose to get something, i must say that this was a cosmetic stuff in a very cute girly white bag and white ribbon, so first i got a call from the postman calling so he can find a right address, and my dad answered this. Let’s just say those 2 were hilarious since both of them have no clue about cosmetics at all, so i barely got a half correct info what actually is in the package that postman needs to give me. So he will deliver it after people finish repairing his motor-bike. Then when he finally showed up, and it was still snow outside, i almost tripped over a cat in a hurry to get to the postman, who was actually a young guy. Just so we can continue this circus, first he almost fell with a bike then slipped on snow again and i felt so awkward then just standing there so i tried to make a decent conversation. Of course i didn’t have anything smarter to say because i was still half asleep so i just said something about the weather. Then the circus continued, first i almost missed the place i had to put my signature, then i tried to balance writing and holding my package while he managed to drop the pencil which in the end also resulted in a very uncoordinated way of returning the signature list. So i was trying not to laugh or comment anything of my or his moves but i felt so awkward in that weird silence so i tried to say again something, and that was basically the same weather sentence i already have said it. Since i now felt like a total idiot in some comic book i went back to run away to a safety in my house until on a half of the path back i realized that he is talking something, about weather, , so i stopped and i felt i had to say something because it was kinda rude just to leave…and it was again about weather, until i just snapped out of the circus show and said *thank you* while running away the fastest i could ……..wow…………i would hope i don’t get myself into that kind of situation again, but it probably won’t happen since my life is full of irony so i kinda expect the second part of that conversation in the future ..but yeah…the weather was…cold.
5. WRONG PERSON
While ago i was cleaning my inbox on Facebook and managed to send something to a completely wrong person..yep….that was the beginning of it…funny how many accidents i got on Facebook…..i need to get out more.. Thankfully it wasn’t anything compromising but it was less worse then this last my idiotic move…..of course i was so embarrassed i wanted to fell through the core of the earth, i sent something totally stupid to a person i don’t even know, she is not on my friend list and we talked once in a lifetime….i’m a freaking genius.
6. FALLING IN A GUY’S LAP
Most of the time i spend in buses since i don’t have a car so i ‘m just doomed to their transport, i could probably write entire different post about just complaining on it. This particular day i felt very sick and dizzy so i barely got out of the work and drag myself to my bus, so thankful i made it in time and actually found a free seat so now i can pass out next half of hour. Usually the bus is full of teenagers ( who honestly give out the vibe like they have been breed out in some jungle and then released ) and some business people. So while i was trying seriously not to pass out how dizzy i felt, in bus came 2 older ladies, looked rich and city-like, those kind of people you see wearing fur coats and expensive bags, whining and complaining about every single thing, especially how young people today are so rude and with no manners, and they were standing next to me. Last one to enter the bus was a very old grandma so she had to stand since there was no free seats and those 2 older ladies continued their whining about past where people actually respected the elders. So, in this situation, any normal human being who actually felt so sick it could barely stand would simply ignore the situation..after all what you can do looking like that? Or to make a appeal on someone else to free the seat for old grandma. And me? I felt so terrible about that granny and too awkward to tell someone else to move so instead i moved and specifically said that this is for old granny to sit down, i saw the evil looking eyes of those 2 older women and i sure will not move my sick ass just so they can’t sit theirs. So yeah, it took a while to actually make a trade so except i picked up all the attention – i dragged myself to the center of bus and started to pray that i don’t fall on the next curve…or hundreds of next ones. Hahahahahahaha……..why would that go well? For i while i thought i made it, but then it came huge last one curve before the bus arrived to the station i had to go off, so due to my dizziness and crazy bus driver who thought he is a new Formula 1 champion , i lost my grip on the seat on which i was holding on to and kept flying back ………..into some complete stranger who just looked at me like i fell right from the sky. I think guy was older few years then i am and after some really embarrassing moments of my life while some people were completely laughing at me ( including those 2 older women) or even clapping, i barely managed to mumble an apology and , imagine that, hit myself on the way out as well, but not just yet before the guy said – *If i knew chicks here are falling in your lap i would visit this place sooner*…….and then asked for my number while i was almost running away down the stairs, into a checking room and straight to a public restroom, closed the door of entire place and just tried to fell trough the hole in the ground…….i got out after i was sure the bus with all those people left. Yeah, that’s what i get for being nice…some days just don’t deserve getting out the bed. Needless to say that i was avoiding this bus line for months.
7. SNORING DRUNK
Continuing my bus experience, i think i have some weird vibe that just attracts weird people…so one day i was traveling somewhere and listening music on my ears when on some station elderly guy who smelt so much like cigarattes came in and just had to sit next to me. It was not a pleasant experience but i tried my best…hell, i think i actually was looking like a mortified rabbit when it stumbles upon a very hungry wolf… Why? It just some stranger, little bit smelly, but nothing else right? Well yeah……except he fell asleep in next 5 min. So that’s the usual cue when i start to panic … mostly *Omg, i need to get out of bus soon…how will i pass that asleep person?*……and to make my misery even worse, every time bus turned on some curve, he was swaying left and right and i was like *Please don’t fall down……hell…….please don’t fall down on me either* After few minutes of my long lasting agony because i had no freaking clue what to do if he fells down on the floor…or the rolls over to my side… he started to snore………..and that wasn’t just any kind of snoring, it was so loud that everyone in the bus were turning to locate the source and laughing like crazy, i think someone even took a picture. Perfect. While i was already at the seven level of panicking considering how the hell i will wake him up because person was obviously drunk as well and smelled of cheap booze or should i just try to squeeze in through the small space and get out ..or somehow jump over the guy… And then the worst scenario happened….on the next curve he landed right into my lap. Trust me, i did not know, should i laugh too or just begged for some cosmic mercy and that half of the bus gets eaten in a wormhole so i can escape. Now i stuck with a drunk person snoring on me ( and probably drooling), still not waking up and with a few minutes away from me getting out the bus. In that moment i was already considering simply shaking his drunk ass so hard until he wakes up or try to slip in back way and then somehow jump over…don’t ask me how..and i’m sure people would definitely call me rude since you can’t actually stomp over the bus property … Besides, this was still alive person….i could tell from all the snoring… He may have a great time but i sure didn’t. So what did i to? Send last s.o.s signals to the conductor of the bus who worked there and came to check what’s going on and then i explained that i need to get out the bus on next station, so he and one other heroic person tried to lift up this drunk guy, which actually went much harder then they thought it would be until he finally woke up and just kept staring at us like we are trying to rob him. So everyone else tried to explain the whole situation, i was probably red as a crab and then he just sit there in silence while everyone expected his reaction and wisely said – *I had a good nap*…………….I do not have to tell you people couldn’t stop laughing and i ran away the fastest i could and tried to get lost in streets nearby……………………………………….oh god, why me?
8. SAVING THE… GLASS JARS
My next fabolous experience was when i worked in a factory with food and that day everything went wrong….we were short on people, i worked the night shift and since we came a lot of problems were there already. My job was to control the glass jars with products so they don’t go opened, half closed, shattered glass, correct weight in it, keep an eye on whole product line so the glass jars won’t stuck somewhere and everything keeps falling down, check out few machines, get rid of the glass, wash the line, ect and i was all alone there, it wasn’t bad at all when everything worked fine but… You know when something goes wrong then it goes wrong with a style? Yes. Next machine who put stickers on those jars stopped working but ours simply can not stop, it’s not allowed because then you make a chain reaction since it’s a mass production and then when all the free space we had started to fill in we had to take them down and place them on a wooden palette until it was really high and full of the smallest jars they had in plan for this product. Whole time i was praying in myself to survive the night until either they fix that or the new shift comes and saves you, but no…….of course not..once the hell broke lose nothing could stop it….glass jars with the product kept literally jumping out like a fish from the river and kept shattering one after the other, and to make things worse they breached the product line which lead them away to the next stop and on 3 more places started to fall down. In just a few seconds everything started to fall and you have to jump and run and keep gathering those jars until even my working coat had full pockets, not just everything else was around me full. Some people came to help but then just left me totally on my own, this didn’t suppose to happen since the manager should have been there and watch over it or just stop the damn machine who sends more and more glass jars on my way…but noooooo..we can’t stop it….i was managing it for a while until i lost the ground below my feet….literally……..i was on the high stairs that lead over those product lines and watching over the breach that was happening all over so i could quickly run over and try to stop the damage..since the stairs were wet from washing contents of broken jars not to mention the floor was full of water, shattered glass and spilled product – i missed the step, slipped and fell down……In that frozen second of time i had i still managed to wage my options..if i could just grab onto something i wouldn’t fell right? And there was that wooden palette with suspiciously looking balance full of thousands product jars and i was afraid to even breathe in it since it looked like everything could just start crashing any minute………And again, what would be logical choice of any smart critter even with a little bit of brain left in your head? It sure wouldn’t be my own……..i decided to fell down. Yes……..admire to my logic and stupidity. I thought that i would get fired if i crash into that palette with products and crash even just few of them ( or in my case probably just crash most of them with my luck) so i just decided to fell down….i could have hit my head on the metal lines, poke my eyes out on something, fell down on the broken glass and still crash into that damn palette….but yes…i took the heroic path of literally saving my job ( and my ass) no matter the consequences. First i just jumped back and checked if i got dirtied that would indicate i fell and then looked like an Indian scout looking all over if anyone have seen that. I only managed to crash one single glass jar…considering the fact that day we broke more then we produced, i would call it a great success.. so i returned to my job really fast still hoping i will not get a heart attack and calculating all options what just could have happened, while trying to put things in order. This happened about 5 am, so it meant that in about 45 min the main bosses will come there to work and everyone were really nervous and in a bad mood so i had to speed up even more trying to keep the things in a control and to clean the mess that just kept piling up. Later someone did came to check what’s going on and then i realized as well that my hand hurts a lot and putting it back to heavy work isn’t a good thing…………i just barely said i fell and i’m ok, i kept working even longer that day, almost missed my bus to home, never reported the accident even the unofficially eventually that news spread over the factory, but it wasn’t anything new, accidents happen a lot in the factories, i was still very lucky. And, the idiot like i am, i kept working next few days as well, being put on a jobs that require full heavy lifting while my hand hurt like hell…….. so that’s the story about my stupidity from the job experience, since i didn’t want to be sloppy or make more damage, even if i wasn’t responsible for any of those………………i still got fired in the end when the production season was almost over……………and funny thing was, when the main bosses came to work and saw the disaster there, they simply turned down the machine..and voila……..no more glass jars playing rockets.
Hanging out with your friends sounds so simple, right? Well, i was suppose to meet with my friend i haven’t actually seen in a while and we decided to find each other in a supermarket since each one had some things to get done before that. I really hate being late so i hurried with my things and went to the location to wait for him. I must say, that it was very busy time of the day and i think even some upcoming holiday so the store was so full of people you barely had a space for yourself. My friend was little bit late and then he came with a coffee in a plastic cup complaining how he still didn’t even had a proper breakfast. So we tried to move out the way of the crazy people pushing shopping carts like it’s a end of the world and while avoiding some person who suddenly just stopped like a donkey in the middle of the path, he turned to avoid it and nicely watered my shirt with almost all of the coffee he had left. I personally hate coffee and i never drink it, i guess that was the coffee tribe revenge against me. That just wouldn’t that be so bad if i just kept my mouth shout..Due to previous conversation i was having with him, and he is actually a very sweet and gentle person but sometimes likes to tease, he then said something like – *Yayks, let me just take that off you* and i said *This is basically you have been planing all along you freaking pervert*………..i do not know how universe just gets into a deep silence from time to time..but the very busy supermarket with dozens of people chatting, kids screaming and crying suddenly in that moment ( and why the heck) just went silent and everyone were staring at us……He, poor thing was standing there completely pale ( not to mention he actually had a girlfriend and he was very adorable person to hang out who wouldn’t hurt a fly) and me standing like a statue while still warm coffee was running down my tshirt and even getting into my bra ………..and then the whispering began, and laughing and pointing fingers , it’s like you just became the whole center of the universe itself … and i remember someone actually asked if i was ok and if my friend is bothering me? Poor thing actually looked so pale that i thought he will have a heart attack and he was just standing there speechless like i would thrown him to lions. After we get over the shock i went to nearest shop to buy other tshirt and wash the stinky coffee that crawled in my skin while he was hiding in the public restroom and i had to actually knock on it and ask if he will come out. ( Of course things never go that simple so the door opened and some middle age guy was just staring at me while i was quickly trying to make a decent sentence that i was checking out if my friend is ok because he is not feeling well…..it was half true….)So then that guy went to a cabin with my friend locked in and started to bang there and call out to him if he needs a doctor. When my friend actually came out, he was already turned to green color and i was laughing like a crazy person. We decided to take the shortest path out and then bumped into our friends who started to tell us the story about some guy who got rejected by a chick and then he spilled the coffee on her so he would drag her with him in his room. Needless to say that when we actually managed to say that those 2 people were us, we had to deal with more laughing and poor friend was called a pervert for a very long time. ……………somehow i think people are much safer if they stay away from me. But he is still speaking to me, so that’s a good thing, right? It might help that i felt so bad about whole *embarrassing him* part that i actually bought him the game he wanted to play just so i could show how sorry i was. I guess it worked……or that’s because the was really a sweet person.
10.THE EVIL ONE
Which reminds me now at one very evil person with whom that day i was suppose to go for a drink. I was already behind the schedule with my plans and mentally making a list of things i still need to do, when to do it and how to squeeze in everything and already whining in myself i won’t make it to do everything in time. My friend pointed out few times i’m completely not listening to him at all and then he asked me some question. I answered…except i called him with a different name. Now, let’s clarify that i couldn’t do that to a worse person on whole planet because everyone else would usually laugh and then passed over it…..yeah, not this one. As i called him with different male name, he immediately started to go to my nerves with questions who is that guy and that’s why i don’t listen to him at all, when i will meet with him, ect. Let’s skip all the embarrassing questions that evil soul could possibly ask. I have no idea how i just slipped the different name, i guess i was too busy with thinking what else i have to do that day and somehow was on currently returning things to that friend and by accident have said his name out loud. So, how the disaster never ends up with me on the beginning he decided to stay until i wait for this friend to show up, since they were friends as well, of course they were. I think i somehow deep down in myself i hoped that he would just kept his mouth shut, but yeah…….didn’t happen. He managed to stay off the topic for full 5 min until new order of drinks arrived and then nonchalantly said while sipping his drink that i have *hot spots* for a friend and i’m dreaming about him even during a day* ……I think my jaw just fell to the table and friend was just looking at me and then nonchalantly as well asked *Since when…and he is very flattered but he is not so sure about it since his girlfriend is somewhere around, but we can talk about it when she goes home.* Anyone wants to guess where exactly his girlfriend was? Yes….of course, she just appeared right behind him, and hearing exactly only this situation. I was actually hoping that meteor would fall down or a giant dinosaur would appear until i could ran away ,pack my things and move to another country. I should have known that my evil friend would do something like this and the other one casually just accepted the game while they both enjoyed watching me squirm on the chair, changing colors and reminding myself to start breathing again. To make things even worse then they already were i really wasn’t in a good terms with his girlfriend before all that and now i just felt i have been stabbed by a very angry laser set of eyes who are trying to make me in a new kind of a cheese, with lots and lots holes in it. I somehow managed to explain the whole situation but let’s be honest…even i wouldn’t buy that – and i WAS total victim and innocent party in this so she kept treating me even worse and constantly keeping an eye on me like i would just leap and jump on her boyfriend, which i knew longer then she did…….and he eventually left her because he found another one. Since this actually happened after the coffee incident, i think that this was the universe trying to pay me back.
Now i see this post became quite long now, i will stop for now embarrassing myself worldwide, i assure you that’s just the tip of the iceberg from my list…so let me know..if i managed to make you laugh ..or make you feel better if you have similar failures in your life? Or you just think i’m a new nature wonder that should be put in a lab and study?